As a child, I frequently faced criticism from my father regarding how I handled the items he gave me. This feedback was acceptable, as he had purchased those items, and I recognized that he held a position of authority over them.
However, the dynamics changed among my peers, where gifts were seen as freely given and became the recipient’s property without any obligations. In my marriage, my wife is my equal.
When I give her a gift, it is without any strings attached; once the gift is given, it belongs to her entirely. This means I have no control over how she chooses to treat the item, just as I respect others’ ownership of their property as well.
Equally, my wife does not dictate how I handle my own possessions. This mutual understanding is a fundamental aspect of our relationship, rooted in our shared experiences growing up in environments where we were instructed on how to care for our belongings.
Our respect for one another’s autonomy means we do not interfere with each other’s treatment of gifts or personal items. To the original poster, your relationship with your wife is your own.
I simply wanted to share my perspective based on my relationship, which will reach 28 years in marriage come November 2025. In response to your comments, I believe it’s important to recognize that once a gift is granted, it ceases to belong to the giver.
You may feel a lingering sense of ownership over the gift you provided your wife, but it is now her possession. As an adult and equal partner, what she does with it is entirely her prerogative, and this aspect should be respected.
Leave a Reply